fuck this job.com

FUcking shithead bosses...I hate them all.

1. Stick epoxy glue on thier seat. They have to walk with the chair on their butt or rip off thier skirt to get unstuck.

2. Direutic/laxative fun. Stick them in those nasty brownies that your fatheaded coworker in the next cubicle brought to work. The brownies probably aren't made of chocolate anyways...

3. Turn on power tools at work. Get a chainsaw and turn it on at certain hours.

4. Bring Playboy/Playgirl magazines to work and distribute them. Be careful if you do this at a Jesus-humper business. (Everytime you beat off, God eats a kitten)

Man I feel like taking a swim in the aquarium again. I'm not sure what to do on my job situation. I haven't really worked for anyone formally for almost 11 months and getting any job in this town is like pulling teeth. Fucking shithead employers want the miracle worker who will show up in a suit and tie (no joke, this one call center wanted that) and sling hash and kiss the CEO's ass for $400 week. Not to mention, it seems like every employer must have an agent of the SS doing the interview. Who do they think they are? I've never seen such smug, stuck up idiots in my life. You expect me to roll around and dance on one foot and kiss your fat radioactive ass for $9/hour? Oh and your co-workers look like they're from Mars...or Uranus.

They had an article in the newspaper the other day about how college grads are getting into huge amounts of debt just to find out that your average college grad only gets a job that pays 30K if you're lucky. They had a periodontist (is that a dentist?) who was in Connecticut who was paying $2300 a month on a mortgage, $1600 on student loans (no joke), and $1500 on a practice he opened up after he graduated (he's 35 years old). Another was some 30 year old who was some legal flunkie who made $35,000 yearly but has $150,000 in loans to pay off. Might we have a problem with the ROI on a college degree? Even your medical degrees are overpriced toilet paper. Who would pay $300,000 in student loans and take out maybe another $100 - 150K just to make only $70000? The periodontist looked like he was rode hard and I'm wondering if his practice is buckling from the financial stress. I could understand if the $450000 was used for an actual brick and mortar business. But for a piece of paper and 6 years of looking at icky body parts? I'm sure that the $150K wasn't for RE either since CT ain't cheap.

I just read in an older news article the other day about how the CEO of Pfizer made $140 million in total compensation. Scary thing is, only about $2 million of that was actual salary, the rest was bullshit benefits and bonuses and yadda yadda. I'll bet this same CEO doesn't pay the lower end people anything (we don't have the money to give you a living wage) and charges the customers $$$$ to the moon. It's kind of scary when you think about how much total wealth the top brass in this country has; the top 1% in Amurica have around 40% of the wealth around maybe $21 trillion USD. I even read an article from the Guardian that said that these ultra wealthy were paying $1500 for a hot dog at some fund raiser! Gee and you think $100,000 toilet seats bought by DOD were bad...

This guy caught me off guard. I'm used to being kind of treated like an alien when I go on interviews but this guy at Cigna Tel was really cool. You know when you're dealing with a legit person, and I think this one is real. Even if I don't get the job I'm still convinced that it was a good idea to go given that sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out on interviews.

(OT - watch the news. You might want to keep some money at home since I think there's going to be some stupid shit happening in our banking system real soon. Just FYI)

Am I the only one that thinks college is more of a commodity than an education nowadays? I got a call from some American Intercontinental University the other day and the gal was nice but quite honestly I don't see why I should go back for a degree right now. What, one degree isn't good enough for Mr. Fester the employer? Anyways, I hated to give this gal a hard time but I blew her off anyways, partially because I'm evil and also because I just don't see where there's any real demand for college educated people. We have produced around maybe 3 million jobs since 2000 when you do the numbers right. Maybe around 1 million of them require any type of college education at the most. We've probably churned out 3 - 5 million grads since then as well. Might we have a glut of college grads?

Well, anyone have any good ones?

Yo Momma so fat she uses Amtrak cars for roller skates.

I swear to god these must be the majority of job ads out there. Both industries are very stuffy and don't hire you unless you are practically a superhero. I interviewed for First Premier BankCard (customer service position) the other day and it sucked. For those who don't know, First Premier issues credit cards to people who for some reason can't or don't pay their credit card bills. Bad news is, when you open an account with them, they charge you $100 or so in fees on a credit line of $200 - 300. What a money laundering outfit. Anyways, I go in and they have me fill out their application online (no I did not give my SSN to them, no way in hell) and then they took me to sit on the phones with some gal to 'get a feel' for the job. This gal had maybe 6 teeth and an IQ of 50 since her callers were getting mad at her not answering their questions right.

Came across this site: www.ridiculousjobpostings.com

Who the hell takes a lot of the job ads seriously anymore? This is an absolute joke; no wonder company networks and stuff fail all the time. I'd think that if your network administrator is only making $5.25 per hour you probably won't get quality help. Is this why they are pushing us to go to college? I'll be go to hell if this is what we're going to get. At least your production jobs pay something and don't have the stress of worrying whether Bevus can't log in or not. Not trying to push another site but it goes to show you that the sales pitches in the media aren't even good ones anymore.

Are the employment experts in this country living in a fucking trashcan? I can't see how in the world people put up with this BS job market. I looked on MSN Careers and half of the jobs are survey taking and "stick pills in your ass for $8k" garbage". More and more of the same shit; some company by the name of Profit Masters is saying that you can get rich by sending them money and buying their dirty ass DVDs. Like I want to check out some guy's hairy ass for $199.99 or get this, they want customer service people to show up and for all we know do the Chicken Dance for $6k per month. Sounds good if it was real.

Here's some more fun stuff to do at work:

1. Write "69" on people's desks.

2. Play bad 80's music at full blast in the office. If you work at retail or a public place, put it over the loudspeakers. Warp the tape if you have to

3. Duct tape the toilet seats shut.

4. Take a can of whipped cream to work and spray it into people's faces, especially those who you don't like

5. Change the home page on your boss's computer to www.dontdropthesoap.com

6. If your co-worker is a hard core Republican, stick pictures of Hitlary and Barack Osama on their cubicle, or vice versa if they are a Democrat

I wish we could live the late 90s again. Quite honestly, am I the only one that seems to think the country is going backwards? It's like the majority of America is turning into some wierd really bad version of the 1950s. I was looking at help wanted ads today and most of the ads seem to appeal to the idiots stuck in 1957. One ad in particular had a picture of a bunch of kids blowing bubbles, and even the other ads suck. Every real estate ad I see is the usual mom/dad/two stupid kids and the damn dog in front of the house. The restaurants are all fried chicken and grits and deep fried horseshit or something. The mall here is the Granny Mall 5000 everything is oversized crap worn by the fatass clowns that work at the fucking banks here and the car dealers all have a bunch of high school dropouts with a combined total of 13 teeth working for them. Stores like Target and Walmart and every other big store used to have cool stuff, now it's all this jumbo sized crap (baby you look like Grandma's couch when you wear that flower mumu). And even the cars now suck the only new car I'd buy is Japanese since the Amurican stuff is all Hummers and Dodge Magnums (that was dead 20 years ago, Chrysler) Also, it seems like everyone has a stainless steel flagpole up their butt since everyone flies too many flags and blathers on about patriotism and God and Jesus and whos a fag and so on. What happened to the good old days? Can we get them back? Damn I want to live in 2007 not 1957 and it seems like the vast majority of the morons and goons in this country want to live in fried chicken and mobile homes with GMC Yukons...ugh....oh and the stupid yuppie look has to go too.

Play this when your religious types are in the office...hehehehehe

I live my life like there's no tomorrow
And all I've got I had to steal
Least I don't need to beg or borrow
Yes I'm living at a pace that kills
Runnin' with the devil
Runnin' with the devil
I found the simple life ain't so simple
When I jumped out on that road
I got no love, no love you'd call real
Ain't got nobody waiting at home
Runnin' with the devil
Runnin' with the devil
You know I, I found the simple life, weren't so simple, no
When I jumped out on that road
Got no love, no love you'd call real
Got nobody waiting at home

Around three months ago or so I posted a blog entry that might have offended a few here. I am 25 right now and the entry was regarding Gen Y (20 - 30 year olds) and basically I said that I hated them and that they were a bunch of Fag Nazis. I'm not bullshitting here, that post probably came across as very hostile and at the time I was dead serious; I still have a hard time trusting my generation on anything and I haven't had any serious conversation with them in a decade.

However, some events over the last few months have prompted me to rethink my attitude towards Gen Y, at least partially. When I first joined this site I was recovering from what you could call a "midlife crisis". I had left 7 years of corporate hot air behind me and the old me couldn't function much longer so I became the Xstate. The world now is a much different place than what it was a year ago or even six months ago, and I am becoming more human as time progresses. I think I can understand how other 25 year olds think and feel, even if not 100%. I also know that with the strengths of a normal (yet transgender) 25 year old, I will have some of their weaknesses. Boy, it sure beats being non-human though!

Look at all the fun we have on computers today. I just got a Windows XP laptop today and i hope it works out (VISTA SUCKS). It'd help if more ISPs would accept Macs since I heard those work better than Windows. Anyone have any juicy tales of workplace PC mayhem?? I used to work for Gateway in sales a while back. It was an overall okay job but I would think a PC company would have PCs that actually worked. Once while I was trying to sell someone broadband internet, my system crashed. How in the hell are you supposed to sell internet when your compuker crashes? Also, you really shouldn't have tech support over in another country (hard to send a technician over the phone for support). At another place I used to work at you almost had to crank your computer just to work it, this was at a bank and I'm glad I don't have accounts there...hell they might convert your money into liquid cheese for all we know.