fuck this job.com

It has come to the attention of the chairperson of the Board of Directors that even though employees are leaving for more money they are not staying for less because they feel unappreciated (NO SHIT). The technical directors and Managing Director of course believe that such a claim is outrageous. Quite naturally a meeting had to be called to address such a grievous matter. After completing their 6 degrees of separation to find out who could have said such a thing to the chairperson (As you know the blame has to be pinned on the donkey) the Managing Director came up with a bright idea to make staff feel appreciated. (Drum roll please) The technical directors are to make a list of all their valued employees. This list is to be given to the HR director so that the HR Director can talk to these persons and tell them how much they are appreciated. Why the HR Director you may ask? Well the Managing Director explains that this is because the Technical Directors don’t have the time to do it themselves... naturally.

I KID YOU NOT.