fuck this job.com

You know, I'm giving up the whole dream that even at the age I'm at- I can still do something meaningful with my life. That I can make money and be successful and be relatively happy. That I can really take any situation and work it to my advantage. The reality is I will work at shit jobs until Death. Beginning to believe there is no such thing as hell because I've been in it most of my life so anything after this has to be easier and less painful. Not going to off myself, too damn chicken- I'm doing it the Kurt Vonnegut way. Kurt Vonnegut (Breakfast of Champions novelist) was once asked at a party why he smoked. The response was he was too chicken to stick his head in the oven- so he chose to smoke. So that's what I'm doing- smoking and drinking like no tommorow. Well, I got fucked again- no lube-not even a kiss on the back of my neck while it was happening. I wish I could say why the fuck am I staying in this shithole I'll never know-but I do know. It's called one fucking car- two people, no licence (for one) and a half way decent insurance plan that needs to be carried. I haven't posted for awhile-job changed again. Still at the same place, but in a different department. Finally got out of self checkout. Mind numbing bullshit-got moved into flooring. Wow!! How exciting!! Breaking my back trying to lift tile/carpet-whatever. Can't do it-though try. I've worked 10 weekends in a row while my co-worker had EVERY weekend off and then my other co-workers had back to back off days in the week. My schedule reads Wed. off, Thursday in, Friday off- back in at 5 in the morning on Saturday. Close Sunday. Who the hell makes a schedule like that? Though the thing that's bothering me the most is I'm being screwed out of commissions. I was fed a line that when I was transferred I was entering an area where I could make some extra cash, selling special orders. What they didn't tell me though was the REAL money comes from installs. Oh yeah, I can sell special orders-but if they want an install I have to give it to a specialist. Fuck me that I may have spent an hour and a half dealing with a customer-I can set it up but I can't complete the sale-that's the specialists job. Specialists have quotas- I should be willing to help them make their quotas. I should also be happy to pull the order for them- deliver it to the customer and file the paperwork for them. I shouldn't bitch that I can't get an extra 20.00 in my paypacket for doing the grunt work for them. Funny how when I sat the test for installed sales a question states who can do the install and the correct answer is ANYBODY. I don't know if they are going against company policy-guy I work with has been pissed off with the situation as well and basically what we were trying to say is- hey, if we work the detail-throw us a bone- don't need every single one-but one or two would be nice. Oh he was all gung ho to go to corporate and straighten it out, but 'noballs malone' has decided it's not worth his while to go to corporate so what the fuck- we'll be bitches for the specialists. Then when I go to fight for my shit I get a whole song and dance-and a promise of I'll learn how to do the installs. Guess the prick sales manager went home and worked himself up and who the fuck was I to challenge him-think he got pissed off that I went to the Ops manager to complain. So yesterday when I get to work, one of the specialists tells me there's going to be a meeting at 1:30 with the sales manager and the whole department. I'm not in the mood- I'm dead tired and have to work the registers as well because half the cashiers called out. Alright- so there's a meeting- I'll go and somehow try to be half way coherent to let them know what I still think and feel. Hopefully 'noballs malone' will stand up as well and we will win. Nah, who was I kidding? 1:30 came and went. No meeting. At 2:00 I went to lunch, and that's when they had the meeting. Funny though no department manager in the meeting (his day off) no zone manager (his day off) and I was at lunch. Heard they were yelling for me Would've been there if I had KNOWN they changed the time- but wasn't. Came back an hour later and 'noballs' tells me that's it-can't win- won't win. Meeting was had- I wasn't there- so tough shit. Now I really don't give a fuck and really go through the motions to get through the day. Count hours till I go home. Everytime now I see a commercial for my store I want to kick fuck out of my TV!!