fuck this job.com

I thought today on my walk to work-that it could be quite possible that I would walk right past the bigbastardbox and just keep going- past the strip malls, out into the barren corn fields-past the quiet empty houses in the middle of nowhere-just keep walking.. Ah, a dream. My feet work on their own without any knowledge from my brain-just as vacant as the fields. While there is no thought-my body knows it's place-it is exhausted and resigned before it even begins the motions of another worthless day. It is the same everyday- someone asks how I am and it is the same response without thought: "I'm here" No, I try not to be 'here'. Here hurts. Here sucks. Here lies and plays bullshit games. Let's not be 'here'. let's try to be elsewhere. Let's wish for schizophrenia-so we can be someone else to get through the nine hours of torture and fake ass smiles. No, still me, still here. Struggle on.. gas is up, insurance up, electric up-but is my salary- my soul, my self worth?
How nice it is to be needed throughout the store and can be counted on to give WOW customer service! How nice it is I can go beyond what's the norm while others get the rewards without the work! Thank you thoughtful coworkers for such great communication and helping out when needed! Oh, wots that? who am I kidding? Myself I guess because I'll do all the work- nevermind- it never changes-what did I expect?

Oh, by the way, Ms.JW I find it quite amusing that when you moved to the same department as me you never corrected HR to redo your shifts not to include every weekend off.. I find it interesting that you had every weekend off for two months while I carried the load and when it was discovered you should be doing weekend work you suddenly hurt your neck and your back and you couldn't do the job at hand but you could go back to your old one and still lift some incredible weight- but it wasn't tile or carpet so that was OK-(cause you had yer weekends back) but once you learned they were going to put you back to your new department and the weekends were gone your injuries got worse. Oh, god bless yer doctor for giving you that note like he did. Hey, since he's good at that kind of thing can you get him to give me a couple of scrips for some demerol or codine.. it's been awhile and since I'm the one still busting ass- I think I need it.Glad to hear your husband does well and you really don't need to work and if they couldn't work around your injury you thought about quitting. Great that they decided to put you up at customer service-but you knew really fuck all about it and you let others do the work for you while you stood there grinning stupidly-spinning homemade homilies as that makes you just as "sweet as sugah and pretty as a picture, it does!" But imagine my surprise dearheart when I'm the one pulled away from two departments (that already have enough issues for the New York Times) to fill in at the front in various departments because no one has turned up again and I do it-and here you come up to the returns desk all full of life and wonder to tell me that you are going to be the next head cashier! Oh joy! I guess you don't bother Ms. T who made my life hell up there-guess she likes that southern charm you spirt so well.. (Minnie Pearl would be proud!)dearheart, you have three months under your belt- I have a YEAR come MAY. I know A HELL OF ALOT MORE OF THAT FRONT END then you do. I am not happy for you I don't want to hear your shit anymore and you want someone to train you find another fool. And as far as being called to the front to help out-while I HATE flooring-(where I make NO COMMISSIONS- see other blogs readers if yer interested) I'm not going. Let Ms.JW do it. She needs to learn anyway. I'll be content cleaning others shit. That's what I do best anyway. God- I really wish I could just really walk away from it all!!