fuck this job.com

Mother is probably the most underated Floyd song out there with the exception of anything from the Animals album. When you get done building your wall, see if you can build a 700 mile one along the southern border of the States if you're feeling ambitious. Keep it evil.

Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun

Along the Long Road and on down the Causeway
Do they still meet there by the Cut

There was a ragged band that followed our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by force of some inner tide

At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Though down this road we've been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist growing
The water flowing
The endless river

(Pink Floyd: Any Colour You Like)

Arrgggghhh.......

I knew I didn't have the building skills to erect that impermeable wall!

Damn. Can't even build a little one around myself, never mind a continental one.

It didn't last, obviously. Crumbled after only a few days. I guess I am doomed to keep on feeling things, even if I don't want to. But then lately, I've been thinking that not doing that might be even worse and somehow like death.

Life, all in all, is good relatively speaking. I don't live in Iraq or Afghanistan, I have clean water and readily available food, not to mention cable, internet and all manner of mind numbing opiates for the masses to help me blend into the herd. I don't have to sell my body to survive (Damn good thing, I'd starve) and I have clean sheets and a night light to keep me safe at night. All in all I am trying to count the positive things and get some perspective going. Some days it works, some days, not so much.

I think trying to blend in and be "normal" or at least appear normal is the biggest effort. I think trying to fit in and be a drone is what kills us. Because we are not drones. We don't wish to be drones, but every single day we are squeezed into the mold and if we struggle, we suffer all the usual sufferings (none of them fatal usually) that go with working. Or worse, not working, or worse yet, working at a drone job that pays minimum wage which we fucking loathe that is sucking our souls and will to thrive. Then add every day shit to that. I mean the REAL life, the one outside of the prison cell called working.

Somedays, I'd gladly join a cult and wait for the fucking mothership. Bring on the koolaide. I can totally understand how some people end up in that place. Or become born again or find some spiritual lifejacket to strap on. Which by the way won't make anyone any more bouyant than those without one. OR warp their minds with drugs to the point where they can't function and don't care that they can't. Can totally relate to that.

Basically, we are doomed to plod along. Thats it folks. Thats the sum total of my experience on this earth up to now. Plod on and hope nothing REALLY bad happens to you or someone you actually care about. And in between the madness, there are little moments of peace or some kind of happiness. Fleeting and wispy and if you don't really watch for them, you don't notice. As your awareness of your mortality sinks in, you tend to scoop them up and file them away more.

Or not.

As specially on Moday.

Some words to live by...

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Hey Bent II.
I've been here back and forth for a couple of years. Something pisses me off to the nth degree and I vow to build a wall, unplug, blah blah blah...lasts only a few days...then I figure it's not worth my energy and time to bitch and I don't log on for months...and then I find my way back to this site when I find myself at the breaking point again..and nothing has changed for anyone. I can't find any answers or help on how to not let the insanity and crap of dealing with people with the mental age of a 6 year old get to me. Everything I can find on "how to disengage" is trite bullshit. Answers anyone?
...Maybe it's just me...Maybe I'm the one that's dysfunctional, that needs too much approval, a perfectionist, inflexible...
Don't know anymore. Don't even know what I'm passionate about, or what I'd like to do, what my "dream" job would be...Dying inside day by day 'cause I'm not equipped to deal with the crap dripping on me like Chinese water torture, day in, day out.

If it was, there would be nobody here contributing. Obviously, none of us are perfect, but all in all, most of our observations are uniform and most of us seem to be decent, reasonable human beings not bent on destroying others. While at the same time, not wanting to be pissed on day after day.

The whole system is based on the wrong things here. In North America. Which is not to say there is some utopian paradise in other developed countries, because I know there isn't. But the value on life and living and family (if you have one) are different. At least from everything I have read and seen. The whole system revolves around the same thing, capitalism, but it revolves differently than it does here.

And seems to me that the more people tolerate collectively, the more shit is heaped on them collectively. The big lie we are currently living has been a few decades in the crafting and will probably take a few more to change at all. The Populux era is gone, dead many decades now, but we are still dealing with the fallout. That won't change over night and won't change on it's own.

I still believe that with the mass retiring of the boomers, including myself, maybe some kind of change can happen. Maybe some doors can be reopened and people will actually stop being disenfranchised and hopeless and actually feel like what they do matters (it does). Or I may just be hopelessly optimistic.